A Tale Of 70 Smashers
by GravityEmblem
Summary: It's a Smash Mansion Fanfic, what is there to ask?


Disclaimer: I do not own Smash Bros or any of the franchises represented in it, which are too numerous to list specifically.

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It was quiet in the Smash Mansion. Too quiet...then, out of the blue-

Peppy, what are you doing?

Uh, I was just-

Peppy, get away from my computer.

But I was justdxnskms

Sorry about that. I'd tell you to look over my handsome body, but well...you can't. Obviously. So, I'll just describe myself to you. Imagine a giant white glove...that's pretty much it. Me and my-well, I suppose you mortals would call him my brother-are two fragments of the "Master Core," an ancient being of near-limitless power. Together, with fellow immortal beings Tabuu and Galeem, it created the universe, teeming with life and creativity. However, conflict soon arose, and the three disagreed on how to handle it. Tabuu thought that it came from sentient life, and as such, it should be sealed away, leaving the world at its natural state. Glaeem, on the other hand, blamed his two comrades for corrupting his perfect creation and demanding he be allowed to destroy the universe and recreate it in his own image. Master Core, however, felt that they should accept life as it was, flaws and all, and oversee the world to help resolve conflicts. The three argued long and hard, and the argument soon broke out into a huge battle that tore the very fabric of space and time, splitting the universe into hundreds of seperate dimensions. Master Core bested Tabuu and Galeem, and after realizing that the power they held was too great to be left unchecked, sealed them away along with a large portion of his own power. The remainder, he transformed into two beings, who he charged with preventing his two former friends from escaping and keeping watch over the multiverse to ensure that there never would be such a catastrophe again.

Yes, they were Crazy and I.

Anyway, after several thousand years, we got a bit bored, and decided to pluck all the great heroes (and a few villains) out of their worlds in a great battle to the excruciating pain! It started small, with only 8 strapping fighters, but it soon grew out of control, and now, we have 69 people from across the multiverse living in a giant mansion, regularly beating each other up. With several more on the way.

Well, this can only end badly!

It was a special day for the denizens of the Smash Mansion. After a breakfast of buttermilk pancakes and sausage (prepared by Kirby), Master Hand hit his empty glass with his spoon to signify that he had an announcement.

"I have an announcement, everyone," he declared. "On this day, we-"

"Wait, why do have a glass?" inquired Dr. Mario. "You don't-a require nourishment of any sort, and you lack a mouth entirely, for spaghetti's sake."

"I had Kirby get me one specifically for making announcements." The official chef nodded in confirmation as enthusiastically as one without a neck and body can.

"As I was _saying, _I'd like to welcome the newest member of our group: Piranha Plant #739! (In representation of the species as a whole)"

After several moments of nothing, Master Hand checked his watch-

"Where did you get a watch?" Ness questioned.

"I'm a semi-omnipotent godlike being; how do you think I got it? ..._don't _ask how I can read it-"

The white-glove-like being was interrupted by his brother crashing through the kitchen window, Piranha Plant in tow.

"Hello and greetings to all fellows!" the former exclaimed enthusiastically.

"You're late." Master Hand said bluntly.

"Oh, but I am ever so sorry. Might I appease you with an offering of plant?"

Master Hand shook his...hand...in frustration. "Just-let me introduce him," he said. "Everyone, this is Piranha Plant #739. Say hi."

Everyone said hello, with the exception of Ness, who said "Okay," and Kirby, who said "Hi!" in his trademarked drawn-out tone.

"Yes, yes, we're all very excited," Master Hand said, clearly not excited. "Anyway, you can find a seat at one of the tables, probably with Bowser and the Koopalings." Crazy Hand conjured up a chair next to Morton and promptly plopped him down in it.

"Enjoy your breakfast, anyone!" he exclaimed.

"You mean 'everyone,'" Ganondorf corrected.

"No, I mean anyone." After a few seconds of silence, Crazy Hand jumped out the window, cackling.


End file.
